Former English leader Lewis Moody has disclosed he has been diagnosed with motor neurone disease and admitted he cannot yet deal with the full implications of the muscle-degenerating condition that ended the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old, who was a member of the World Cup champion 2003 side and secured multiple English and European titles with Leicester, appeared on BBC Breakfast a fortnight after learning he has the condition.
"There's something about confronting what lies ahead and hesitating to really process that at the moment," he said.
"This doesn't mean I don't understand where it's progressing. We grasp that. But there is certainly a unwillingness to confront the future for now."
Moody, conversing alongside his wife Annie, says conversely he feels "peaceful" as he concentrates on his present wellbeing, his family and making preparations for when the disease deteriorates.
"Maybe that's surprise or perhaps I deal with matters differently, and after I have the details, it's simpler," he continued.
Initial Indications
Moody learned he had MND after noticing some reduced power in his upper arm while working out in the gym.
After physical therapy didn't help the problem, a set of scans indicated neural pathways in his central nervous system had been compromised by MND.
"You receive this diagnosis of MND and we're appropriately very emotional about it, but it's so strange because I think nothing's wrong," he remarked.
"I don't feel unwell. I don't feel sick
"My indications are rather minimal. I have some muscle wasting in the hand area and the shoulder region.
"I'm still able to performing all activities. And optimistically that will persist for as long as is possible."
Condition Advancement
MND can advance quickly.
Based on the charity MND Association, the condition takes the lives of a third of people within a 365 days and more than half within 730 days of detection, as eating and inhalation become more difficult.
Therapy can only slow worsening.
"It's never me that I feel sad for," added an affected Moody.
"It's about the sorrow around having to tell my mum - as an only child - and the implications that has for her."
Family Consequences
Speaking from the family home with his wife and their canine companion by his side, Moody was overwhelmed by sentiment when he mentioned informing his sons - teenage Dylan and adolescent Ethan - the heartbreaking news, saying: "This was the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
"They are two wonderful boys and that was quite devastating," Moody stated.
"We sat on the couch in weeping, Ethan and Dylan both wrapped up in each other, then the dog bounded over and started licking the moisture off our faces, which was somewhat funny."
Moody stated the focus was remaining in the present.
"There is no cure and that is why you have to be extremely militantly concentrated on just welcoming and appreciating everything now," he said.
"As Annie said, we've been really fortunate that the sole decision I made when I retired from playing was to spend as much duration with the kids as possible. We don't get those times back."
Athlete Association
Top-level competitors are unevenly affected by MND, with research proposing the rate of the illness is up to sixfold elevated than in the wider community.
It is believed that by restricting the O2 obtainable and creating injury to neural pathways, frequent, intense physical activity can activate the disease in those inherently vulnerable.
Rugby Professional Life
Moody, who gained 71 England selections and traveled with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was called 'Mad Dog' during his playing career, in acknowledgment of his courageous, relentless method to the game.
He played through a stress fracture of his leg for a duration with Leicester and once sparked a training-ground scuffle with team-mate and friend Martin Johnson when, frustrated, he abandoned a practice gear and started throwing himself into physical contacts.
After coming on as a replacement in the Rugby World Cup decisive match win over Australia in 2003, he won a ball at the end of the throw-in in the critical passage of play, creating a base for scrum-half Matt Dawson to snipe and Jonny Wilkinson to kick the match-winning drop-goal.
Assistance System
Moody has earlier informed Johnson, who captained England to that victory, and a handful of other previous colleagues about his medical situation, but the remaining individuals will be finding out his news with the rest of public.
"We'll have a time when we'll need to lean on their support but, at the present, just having that type of affection and acknowledgment that people are present is the crucial thing," he stated.
"This game is such a wonderful family.
"I told to the kids the other day, I've had an amazing life.
"Even should it ended now, I've valued all of it and embraced all of it and got to do it with unbelievable people.
"When you have the opportunity to call your passion your career, it's one of the most significant privileges.
"Having accomplished it for so extended a time with the groups that I did it with was a joy. And I am aware they will wish to assist in any way they can and I await having those conversations."
